Michael Moore celebrates being a fat ass by letting the world know he wants TWO ‘moore’ Big Macs! When the waiter cut him off after his seventeenth burger, Moore released the details on his next film ‘Goodburger… Gone Bad’. The film will show conclusive evidence that McDonald’s backed the Kennedy assassination and still plots to place mid-ranged ballastic missiles in Cuba, targeted at every Burger King, Wendy’s, Hardee’s, and Jack in the Box location in the continental US. The movie also provides details gleaned by Moore through countless interviews of street bums, and gay strippers, on how McDonalds continues to lace its food with cocaine and small amounts of poison, countered only by the serum found in their cola beverages, ensuring return visits to the resteraunt on the pain of death. For an exlusive addendum on Michael Moore see here!
Tag: Politics
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DATELESSLINE
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ENEMIES OF THE STATUS QUO
Pakistan’s Dr. Abdul Qadeer Khan has made a public apology for selling nuclear secrets to such enemies of the West as Iran, Libya, and North Korea. The Iranian PLX-DV223 ICBM platform (shown in picture) is the first complete build of Pakistani sold nuclear secrets to rear its ugly head (literally). Cpt. Abdul Shamatmahan (far right) has been calibrating firing sequences on these new WMDs for nearly two months now, and has increased the accurate firing distance to nearly 42.67 meters (140ft). Brigadier General Ronald McAlibaster, serving with the 82nd Airborne US Army division in Iraq, fears the mental impact this will have on his soldiers. ‘Every mule is now shot on site, for fear of letting the single radioactive one slip by and start Armageddon.’ -
THE TERRORISTS ARE COMING, THE TERRORISTS ARE COMING!
In the current national spotlight still sits our airline security. We have tightened it down to the point of searching cars parked for more than 24 for hours within one mile of major airports. Yet, in these treacherous times, where one out of every six flights is destined to become a weapon of mass destruction in the hands of a lunatic religious fanatic, we still allow dangerous items on board airliners. This CNN story explains how frightened a commercial pilot became when he noticed several passengers being let on with potentially lethal equipment. An old man’s walking cane, ball point pens, and mirrors, represent just a small section of the murder machines let on to our commercial flights. I myself have written dozens of requests to lawmakers to ban clothing on all potentially dangerous (hot) women boarding aircraft. Yet everytime I fly I am forced to sit in stress, waiting for that demented beauty to unleash those bags of VX Gas hidden in her bra, and force our dead bodies out the door as human bombs to splatter on the streets of downtown Bismark, ND.