Michael Moore,
A man driven by purpose, poise, and poirpose on a bun. Michael did not always wish to be a world famous investigatory movie mogul. In his younger days, Michael often dreamed of being a male pole dancer. Unfortunatley his dreams of bouncing his 3" johnny plug in the faces of lonely women were dashed when he realised he looked like this.
...and that he was gay.
Realising that his "jimmy" would never get whacked on his current course, he decided his only viable option was to overreact to idiotic shit and act like the ordeals that people live through are so horrible until the frightened American women would sob heavily enough to heave their ample cosmetically enhanced bosoms into his waiting face and hands.
That being decided, he was clever enough from his time in the math-decathalons to know he needed something he was sorely lacking at the time. Wit. Michael began to religiously watch such famous political comedians as Richord Pryor, Redd Foxx, and Rudy Ray Moore, and there he found his true soul brothers. After being beaten several time making white man jokes to the crack dealers on the corner of his local ghetto, Moore decided to super-size his game to the written word. One of his more famous quotes is as follows: "White people scare the crap out of me. … I have never been attacked by a black person, never been evicted by a black person, never had my security deposit ripped off by a black landlord, never had a black landlord … never been pulled over by a black cop, never been sold a lemon by a black car salesman, never seen a black car salesman, never had a black person deny me a bank loan, never had a black person bury my movie, and I've never heard a black person say, 'We're going to eliminate ten thousand jobs here - have a nice day!". Yea, no shit dumb ass, you live in an exclusive neighborhood, where the only black guy you've seen shines your shoes for a nickel and says "have nice day, massa!!" with a big white toothed smile on his face. This strengthens the new trend of self hating whities, the bulk of which you know as the teenagers who sag their pants and save all their Burger King job money to buy a new 30,000 watt woofer for their Civic.
Theres a bunch more shit, but I just realized he is an ass, who likes to make people think he is making a point. When all he is really doing is cranking out shit designed to lead simple minded people into making him enough money to live happily inside a house made of all-beef burger patties for the rest of his natural life.
At least I can give him one prop. He really does understand how frickin' stupid people are. Especially when you read his comment, "There's a gullible side to the American people. They can be easily misled." Basically, it translate to, "HAHA! Dicks. You bought my books and watched my movies! I TOLD you so!" And still they come.
Why the Right wing hates Michael Moore = Bill O'Reilly
Why the Left wing hates Michael Moore = Christopher Hitchens
Why Pete Townshend hates Michael Moore = Pete
