In a protest over the loss of his life partner the Hamburgler, during a tragic incident in Tikrit, Ronald McDonald, 50, of San Bernardino, CA hung himself outside of President Bush’s Texas ranch Friday. Ronald left a note portraying his desire to see all the anti war protestors follow in his oversized footsteps. It is expected that up to 25,000 liberal peacemongers may cease their existence before Labor Day, in a show of solidarity with Mr. McDonald. White House Extremist spokesman Richard Pettigut assured the press that the suicides were ignored by the president and any future bodies discovered near the ranch would be flown to Iraq and dropped on the enemy in order to prove our dedication for global freedom to the terrorists. (-Photo: Local rancher Bill Hardley contemplates saving money on his son’s birthday pinata.)
Tag: lunacy
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BRING IN THE CLOWNS…
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I LIVE….AGAIN!!!
Basically, I hate zombies. They are everywhere, and apparently they have now learned to communicate and are applying for my position as server administrator. At a lower wage. Bastards. So now, in addition to my normal off-hours duties as a vampire hunter, I have decided to become a zombie slayer. Just to let you know if you are ever bitten and suddenly find yourself shambling around the city and hungering for human flesh… the next thing you will probably see will be the picture above. -
George Washington Carver Bush Jr.
President George W. Bush gave a fantastic speech yesterday about spreading awareness of ‘culturebietes’. Mr. Bush cannot look directly at other races for fear of uncontrollable vomiting when seeing them. This is the same disease his father suffers from, as displayed in Japan, 1992. George W, although a sufferer of this horrendous disease still employs minoritieson his Texas ranch. In support of his outreach to tribal cultures, High Priestess Mbuga Barazakwai stands ceremonially behind the president ready to catch his projectile vomit in a holy bucket should he make eye contact with one of the several asian reporters in the crowd.