Basically, I hate zombies. They are everywhere, and apparently they have now learned to communicate and are applying for my position as server administrator. At a lower wage. Bastards. So now, in addition to my normal off-hours duties as a vampire hunter, I have decided to become a zombie slayer. Just to let you know if you are ever bitten and suddenly find yourself shambling around the city and hungering for human flesh… the next thing you will probably see will be the picture above.
Category: Greatwizard News
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I LIVE….AGAIN!!!
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George Washington Carver Bush Jr.
President George W. Bush gave a fantastic speech yesterday about spreading awareness of ‘culturebietes’. Mr. Bush cannot look directly at other races for fear of uncontrollable vomiting when seeing them. This is the same disease his father suffers from, as displayed in Japan, 1992. George W, although a sufferer of this horrendous disease still employs minoritieson his Texas ranch. In support of his outreach to tribal cultures, High Priestess Mbuga Barazakwai stands ceremonially behind the president ready to catch his projectile vomit in a holy bucket should he make eye contact with one of the several asian reporters in the crowd. -
DATELESSLINE
Michael Moore celebrates being a fat ass by letting the world know he wants TWO ‘moore’ Big Macs! When the waiter cut him off after his seventeenth burger, Moore released the details on his next film ‘Goodburger… Gone Bad’. The film will show conclusive evidence that McDonald’s backed the Kennedy assassination and still plots to place mid-ranged ballastic missiles in Cuba, targeted at every Burger King, Wendy’s, Hardee’s, and Jack in the Box location in the continental US. The movie also provides details gleaned by Moore through countless interviews of street bums, and gay strippers, on how McDonalds continues to lace its food with cocaine and small amounts of poison, countered only by the serum found in their cola beverages, ensuring return visits to the resteraunt on the pain of death. For an exlusive addendum on Michael Moore see here!