Hudson Hawk (1992)
Action

Publisher	Sony Imagesoft Inc.
Developer	Ocean Software Ltd.

Hudson Hawk. It's not like any game based on a movie was good (except for Batman), but Hudson Hawk was notably shitty. You were about 3 pixels high, and spent most of your time dodging video cameras and angry guard dogs. These were no ordinary guard dogs, though. Many of them were weiner dogs who you could easily distract by throwing a ball. When they did catch you, they would grab onto your ass until you remembered to hit the "throw ball" button. Most of the game's challenge came from the jumps you had to do. They weren't very bad, but I discovered that Hudson Hawk has a fear of jumping and rarely does so when you tell him. He prefers to run into pits while you hammer your controller.

I found out it was a lot more fun to jam my copy of Hudson Hawk, the movie, into the Nintendo and perform Singin' on a Star with a sock puppet I labelled, "Danny Aiello." If you time it right, sparks and smoke will come out of your NES just as you begin the extravagansic final chorus.