95% of US citizens are found in a recent poll to be against right-wing extremist conservatives who forced 11 Russian undercover illegal agents out of the country last week. In a strongly worded statement, the NAASCP calls the “racist scum white cracker tea-baggers” the root of the current financial problems, which have “directly led up to the expulsion of hard-working, poor russian spies whose only crime was to illegally stay past their visas and attempt to handle documents, identities, and cash for other spies use against the United States.”
“With ignorant red-necks like this,” says Harvard Whittman, President of the Tunnel Hill, GA NAASCP local chapter, “we stand no chance of ever filling the millions of jobs that Americans traditionally refuse and have over the last 40 years left primarily to undercover Russian spies illegally staying past their visa expirations.”

Russian spy Anna Chapman was expelled by right-wing extremists for doing the jobs they refuse to do.

Without a steady supply of undocumented spy labor, prices will rise dramatically and more spying jobs will be shipped overseas, according to a recent study by Chicago based and politically independant think-tank KSFFC, or’Karl-Stalin Forward to the Future Comrades!”
A new bill is being pushed forward in Congress, which will allow the president to accept more Russian spies into the US, being offset by an offshore oil-platform tea-partier camp, where racist, violent tea-partiers that have been caught on camera being racist and violent will be sent to be reeducated about their place in a modern, functioning society. President Obama expects to have the bill on his desk for signing before the summer recess, and has recently announced his regret that so many republican lawmakers are “using political games to prevent our path forward to the future.” He hopes to either receive their vote on the bill, or to have Attorney General Eric Holder assign all No voters the first spots in the new offshore camps.